talking to the man in the mirror


this time's different, you won't be back again

wow, we've gone from one record to another, and then the other. nickleback's new album is due to be released on the 21st of november, a day after my birthday, following the new albums of hinder, then theory of a deadman, with these 3 bands all being specially meaningful to myself.

wow, so many things has just gone and past, and here we are, my secondary school friend is about to get MARRIED in a couple week's time, but the sucky thing is that i've got to hear about this from the mouth of another friend, and till now, despite my best attempts to contact mr bridegroom, he is doing is best to avoid me, for some reason only heaven knows.

and wow, there'd been so many crossroads that was at, so many decisions that i'd made, not all of them good ones, and here i am.

one of them, particularly, have been around my head recently, one of the first decisions that i had to make in my life - the secondary school to go to, specifically, nanhua secondary or bpghs.

most of my friends went to nanhua, which was a straightforward choice for them, in my opinion, since it is a school similar to my alma mater peihwa (i mean, even their names are alike).

both schools for formally chinese-ed, and therefore had a predominantly chinese student demographic.

my best friend in primary school, a friend that i kept in touch with all the way until poly, despite him going to the jcs, until he went to the army, when it became really difficult (and it is only until now when i'm going through the same thing that i understood why). many of my friends went there, and the quasi-almost girlfriend that i had (shall not say more), she went there too.

and i often wonder what it would be like if i went to nanhua too.

nanhua didn't offer literature as accessibly as bpghs did, so i, in all likelihood, wouldn't have taken literature. nanhua definitely didn't have the terrifying mr osgodby, so i would probably not have gotten the jolt of terror needed to get me of my ass to haul up my miserable english grades, to start writing, and would probably be a more science-y kinda guy, maybe gone to the jcs, played football in the 'a' division and did ok there, gone to ns at 19, ord-ed and now in ntu doing engineering.

i'd have been in the same school as my best friend, shared a similar route of advancement (for lack for better term, you know, i've been in the army, steadily growing more stupid), and, fingers crossed, we'd still be the best of buddies till now.

as for the girl, well we'd have seen alot more of each other, that's for sure, and though the odds would be pretty long for us to still be together now, i'd never have met estella had i gone to nanhua, and i still wonder if it is a good or bad thing indeed.

one thing's for sure though, had i gone to nanhua, i'd not be friends with mr bridegroom, and i sure as hell would not be sitting here by my phone anxiously waiting for a reply or a call to my sms and missed call that is never going to come. i've been trying to get him since june, and i'm starting to get really annoyed.

but hell, i've come to resolution to put to bed all these 'parellel universe' a la LOST kind of wondering. as the records above prove, the favoured saying in the army is indeed very true - life goes on.

you can get the worse absoutle shit, duties on the weekends, sucky vocations, shit commanders, placed in absoute nightmarish situations, but guess what?

life goes on.

so get off your ass, quit whining, and move on.

because life will go on either way.

and hence, i'm going to heed my own advice, it's time to snap back to reality, and move on with life.

oh, and it helps to have great music from the above-mentioned bands too.