you don't get another chance life is no nintendo game

this is so MIND BLOWING. eminem is well and truly back.

regret. we all have it, and this song is all about regret.

in a particular episode from glee, quinn when asked about her regrets replied in a deadpanned manner, "believing that trust me is an effective form of birth control.".

quinn is a high school student who is pregnant.

that was funny, but many of our heartaches are far from amusing.

so how do we deal with our disappointments? oddly, LOST has influenced me so greatly in this matter.

many of us, when faced with heartbreaks, choose to run, to hide from the problem and we wish for the mythical reset button. and by choosing to run and hide, that's exactly what we're trying to do - to hit the fantastical reset button, to attempt to seek someplace else where we did not mess up.

in LOST, everyone is screwed up, but they were given a second chance in life when they were stranded on a mysterious island.

we do these sorts of "semi-reset" buttons in life, be it moving to a new country, or enrolling in a new school, or even getting to know a new group of friends, but ultimately, who we are now and where we are in life is the amalgamation of the decisions and choices that we've made in the past. we are who we are because of what we did.

in LOST, we understand the characters and why they were the way that they were through a series of flashbacks. because of our past circumstances and choices, we are moulded into who we are today, be it consciously or subconsciously. but despite the "fresh start" on the island, people soon messed up again.

and isn't that so true in life? no matter how hard we try, we are imperfect and we make mistakes. so do we seek another reset button?

the characters in LOST tried to to exactly that. they tried to change the past, so that their plane never crashed, so that they had never been on the island, and so all their mistakes were never made, all their pain never experienced.

does that not sound uncannily familiar?

because isn't this what we so very often wished for? for us to be able to go back in time to fix a mistake so that we can not go through the grief and remorse that we did?

jack sure did. he was so willing to rub out his time on the island - his missteps, his errors in judgements, his spurned opportunities - that he was willing to not meet kate at all (he wouldn't have met kate if they had not crashed on the island). he was willing to give up the very woman that he loved, who was the very source of much of his pain, so that he could run from his hurt. he was willing to erase all his time on the island, his victories together with his defeats. yet these experiences made him a better man, less reactive and reckless, more receptive to the opinion of others and level-headed.

again, does isn't this so true for us? we run from our hurts, we try to change things. but at what cost? at the cost of the relationships that we've built? at the experiences that we've had? for if we are our past, then erasing what we've done would be erasing parts of ourselves. for better or for worse, our past has moulded us into who we are today.

some would argue that by erasing our screw ups, we're just removing the bad parts of ourselves, parts that we dislike.

gandalf in the lord of the rings said this to frodo:

then do not be too eager to deal out death and judgement. for even the very wise cannot see all ends.

it was jack's mistakes that taught him his limitations, not his victories. and it was through his pain that he learnt how to not always have to be in control, to always have to fix things. and kate, what would jack be if he had never met the woman who would later love him, and whom he would love so dearly?

indeed, lord alfred tennyson puts it brilliantly:

tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.

easy to say, tough to act upon.

i was so eager to erase someone out of my life after my mistakes and the pain that consequently ensued. i was determined to hit the reset button, and i told myself that i'd take it that i've never met that person. i don't want friendship, it's going to be all or nothing.

but at what cost?

i am who i am because of my failures and victories, my choices and decisions. so as hard as i tried, i couldn't rub off he past. it was like trying to shake off my shadow: somedays it appears that i've succeeded, others - an utter failure. and it even began to affect my relationship with the other people whom i claim to care for.

instead of running, i'm still learning to find the strength to face up to my mistakes, take them on my chin and say that yes, indeed i messed up. and indeed, so much more strength is required to be meek than to be defiant and refuse to back down. it was so much more difficult to choose to say i was wrong, than to stay angry. true strength is in gentleness and grace, not in anger and accusations.

and this is the beauty of life: the significance of every action, of every decision that we make, or every path that we choose to take - they will all become part of us, the culmination of which will be our very being and consciousness.

why is this beautiful?

because as much as my past defines me, my actions today will define who i will be.

jack, of all people, in the final episode of LOST chided desmond for still trying to find the short cut to make everything "go away", to make everything "alright".

'i've tried that, and it doesn't work,' insisted jack, 'everything is real, everything that we do matters.'.

it is through his failure that jack learnt this crucial lesson, that everything has a consequence, that there are no cheat-codes to reset things. that life is not a nintendo game. it is through his failure, not his success.

and what we choose to do today has significance, it matters. because it will define who we will be tomorrow.

so we all can choose who we want to be, but first we have to face up to our past; running from our past only hides yourselves from our present and denies us the possibilities of the future. and isn't this what eminem is rapping about? instead of staying angry, he is apologising, he's trying to make things work. he regrets his past, but he is coming to terms with his present, and he'll fight for his future.