it's been a long long time since i've last wrote here, since i've last written anything at all. i do miss writing.
but perhaps this is all for the better, with not many people (if at all) still reading me.
there've been some thoughts floating around in my head lately, but i just haven't gotten the time nor discipline to coalesce them into something meaningful.
the army, as the saying goes, turns boys into men. and their method to such an end?
the army takes away many, many things that i took for granted, and the result? someone who looks at shit right in the face, with dread, but with the resilience to pull through nonetheless.
having said that, i do miss dearly many things that i had.
i miss going to school, learning. i miss playing football, so much. i miss home.
i miss having someone that i can talk to, to whine and rant to through the tough times, a listening ear who wouldn't judge, but be there for me, unreservedly. someone whom i can just call at the end of a shitty day/week and share my joys and frustrations.
all these i once had, and now, having lost them, i've realised just how precious and valuable they all are, and in here, perhaps, lies the greatest lesson that the army is teaching me: the things that we - i - have taken for granted, the simple things, they are not cheap and they do not come free. treasure them.
my words came back to haunt me recently, when someone said that he wastes time with his children because he cares for them, because he wants to spend time with them, because he wants to build the relationship that they share together.
he goes on to elaborate about how it is not actually a waste of time wasting time with his children.
those words struck me hard, because i was reminded of my words about what i deemed a waste of my time.
how darn wrong was i.
but this was a mistep that i had to take, an experience to go through, for me to learn and grow up, and one day, when i get those things that have been taken away from me, i'd learn to treasure them.