this is simply my favorite song from jay chou off his new album. wonderful lyrics that are actually really deep and with a real catchy tune to boot. altogether a really cool song and it kinds of ties in really nicely with today's entry.
脱离地心引力的热情
ok so transiting from something that is cool to something a little more nerdy, i've been playing a bit of starcraft 2 on the ladder recently, and when i do get to meet my friends who play the game too, we can simply just sit there talking about different strategies. very fun game indeed.
i'm a terran through and through, have been since the starcraft 1 and brood wars days when i played VERY casually, so it does kind of sucks that the siege tanks, one of my most used units, are getting nerfed. but i do think that it is kind of reasonable. but thank goodness the marauders are still intact.
like i said, i've been playing abit on the ladder (my username is metaphor by the way, which is actually a brilliant suggestion by jordon. matt ta 4, understand?), and i've just been promoted to the gold league, yay.
gold was my target for myself when i first started playing on the ladders anyway - nice and snug in the middle, so i'm reasonably satisfied about my placing in the gold league, and i'm hovering consistently within the top 10 in my division, so that's cool.
the thing about starcraft 2 is that there are just so many things to do at every single moment, from scouting and responding accordingly from the information gathered, building supply depots, workers and attacking units to managing the economy getting expansions up, microing the units in battle, keeping an eye out on the minimap, supply count, getting the upgrades, tech-ing, and the list goes on.
those who know me will probably say that i'm one of the worst multi-taskers around - i can't even work and listen to someone speak to me at the same time - so it is actually quite exhausting mentally whenever i play starcraft 2. and then there are time when it feels like i'm stuck in a rut, being on a losing streak, constantly getting supply locked, forgetting my units and workers, getting really far behind on the food count and economy and just playing crappily in general.
and then i bash myself up for it, trying desperately to push myself to do better, to right my mistakes, but more often than not, i seem to play worse and get caught in this vicious cycle whereby i'm getting angry at myself for making mistakes, and consequently, i'm making mistakes because i'm getting frustrated.
there was this other night when i feel exactly like that, but this time, i told myself to call it for the day, to just stop playing, and take my mind, as best as i could, off starcraft 2. that means no looking through my replays to try and spot my mistakes, no replays of high level players too. no starcraft 2 for the rest of the day.
and then, the next time i played, while the game was reloading, i reminded myself what my objective for playing the game was when i first started: to simply enjoy the game at whichever level that is most fun for me. i wasn't making a mental checklist of my build orders, nor was i thinking about my mistakes. i was simply just reminding myself that i play the game because it is fun. that's all.
what followed were probably a few of my of best games. supply depots were completed sweetly on time, and i was never supply locked for anything more than a couple of seconds, my macro was mechanical, one unit after the next, keeping my money low, doing all the good things and going on a winning streak.
what changed? nothing, except for my state of mind and my attitude.
but isn't this the same in life? isn't starcraft 2 an apt metaphor for our lives too?
there are just so many things that are screaming for our attentions in life, so many balls that we have to juggle and keep them all up in the air, so many hats to wear.
and sometimes, sometimes we just at so frustrated at our own inabilities and our mistakes that try too hard to right the wrongs to become better that it is like we're trying to run down a brick wall.
perhaps at time like that, we should choose to do the difficult thing - to take 2 steps back and take stock, re-focus and not try and do too much with too litle.
don't get me wrong, no i'm not saying when the going gets tough, give up, throw in the towel, no. but sometimes, when one is caught in a mental rut, with frustration ever growing in the belly, it is easier to curse and swear at everything, the opponent, the balance of the game, oneself, life, shitty circumstances, our overwhelming responsibilities, and then be inundated by the so many to-dos.
there is a time to be tough on oneself, to be analytical and learn from the mistakes made, but the time is not when one is not focused, and whose head is not in the game.
my case in point, a short while back, i was indeed trying to run down a brick wall. i wasn't in a nice position (the parallel being being on a losing streak in SCII) and i wasn't making things any easier for both myself and those around me with me trying to fix things (stressing myself out to remember my depot after my third barracks, look at the minimap, build scv, then get stimpack followed by the factory etc...). and in the end, simply walking away, taking time out to re-focus, to take stock and to gather myself mentally and a quick reminder about my objectives (to simply have fun for SCII) and all a sudden, all the grief that i gave myself seems silly. and all of a sudden, i'm on top of my game, and right now, i'm in gold - my initial target when i first started SCII with little prior rts experience.
and this is something that i've working to my football games. whenever i feel myself getting frustrated, i'll now always get myself to re-focus on the game, to keep my head in the game instead of allowing frustration to cloud my mind. i'm still a pretty aggressive player but in my mind, i'm always cool, thinking. because, i've come to learn, a frustrated player, is a loose cannon and he doesn't help the team at all.
take a step back, re-focus, take stock and all will be well.