the was a really interesting special report on last saturday's edition of the straits times about magachurches in singapore as well as the smaller denomination-based churches and even the home churches.
the article writes that the megachurches are growing exponentially in their sizes while the smaller churches are losing worshippers, especially the younger generation to their bigger, snazzier and more vibrant counterparts. nonetheless, some are leaving for the exact reasons. the megachurches are getting too big, too snazzy, to loud to such an extend that there isn't a feel of intimacy, of authenticity, of focus.
it is also interesting for me to note that my church - covenant evangelical free church (CEFC)was listed as a megachuch, by the definition of having a congregation size of 2000 or more weekly.
my church. really, i don't quite know what defines a particular as mine right now.
is it a place where i'm currently at? or a place where i have, whether i like it or not, sunk roots?
i've been thinking long and hard about this for sometime already, ever since i was spending alot of time at my old church - glory presbyterian church (GPC)- preparing for my cambodia trip (albeit a little reluctantly initially - i just wanted to turn up for the trip and not have much responsibilities).
one of the dentists that we had on the trip was talking to me in cambodia about my church (since the 2 of us were the only ones not from GPC). he said that he was from a small family church not unlike GPC before me left for a bigger chuch - lighthouse evangelical church - again, not unlike CEFC, but after being there for sometime, he returned to his mother church after all. he said that many a time, with the bigger church, there is a lack of intimacy and it is at the smaller family churches where you really get the sense of community, which was the biggest reason why he returned.
that really got me thinking about where it is that i truly belong.
in a way, siewhor, who is that dentist friend of mine, is right. despite being away for so long, it is a joy to see these familiar faces all over again, and to have them receive me so warmly, and to continually ask me to go back, be it for lunch, for a reunion or just to hang out, which explains why i'm still around GPC for a bit despite the cambodia trip being done. it really is like my kampong right there.
yet i'm adamant that i want to stick around at CEFC at least for a while more. i have got good friends here, but they are generally older than me, my big brother figures who took me under their wings and mentored me from when i was a hot-headed secondary school child till even now, when i'm (hopefully) less of a hot-head, and less of a child. and in a way, i've gotten so comfortable in my city life, with all the lights, glitz and sound, that really, it took a little getting used to initially when i returned to GPC for service with just a piano for music and a small, small hall as the venue.
to be honest, i was almost ready to go back to my mother church at the drop of a hat at one point, had things turned out differently.
but things didn't turn out differently, and i ran back to CEFC and i said that i'm going to stick around there for at least a little while more.
siewhor said that one of the reasons while big churches are popular is that the crowd is so big there, it is perfect for slipping in and out without meeting people you know. in other words, it is perfect for hiding.
am i hiding? i really have no idea.
and to compound matters, the young adults set up at CEFC is being overhauled, meaning that there'll be alot more uncertainty and change.
i'm going home, that part is for sure.
but where's home? and what makes a home?
i don't know, and i don't have any answers. not now.