now that i'm in my final year, words like maturity and grown-up are being thrown about almost ad nauseum. but really, what is maturity? it seems that all that have been suggested is financial independence or security.
i was speaking to a friend in uni, one who i had not seen for some time, and he asked me about what i want to do after i graduate. i said that i'm looking to try my hand at something that i had always enjoyed, but never gave myself a chance to explore. i do not wish to continue my current course of study, in other words.
he asked why.
while i do not dislike optometry, in fact, i'm enjoying year 3 more than ever, experiencing a whole new aspect of optomtry, the social and community part, going overseas to serve and return what i've been blessed with, i really cannot see myself working as an optometrist full-time after i graduate. teaching is an option, but lecturing is a different proposition all together; lecturing is generally more detached and less intimate then teaching.
my friend then asked something that sums up what growing up is to him, his defination of maturiy, something that, i'm sure many of us share too.
he said that as he nears graduation, there begins a need to consider what job that he can take upon graduation, the prospects of that job, the sort of pay to expect, how much to use to support his parents, how much it takes to support a family (he has a serious girlfriend), and that sometimes it matters not what you enjoy, but rather, what you have to do.
but really, is that all there is to maturity? i've got friends who believes themselves to be mature just because they have an idea about what it is that they like to work as after they graduate, the amount of money that they would like to receive, the plans that they have for this money.
call me callow, but i've never considered all these.
maturity to me, is realising that life contains so much more, that life is a process of learning, of exploring, of living and that there is no end unto itself in life. in other words, graudation is merely a milestone of sorts, not a finishing line signifying the end of a part of ourselves. there is so much more to learn, to explore, to live then just toiling day and night for something that has no value without a purpose. let me explain, money, is a mean, not an end, and that for money to have value, there needs to be an avuenue for the exchange of that dollar note into a certain good or service that fulfills a certain desire. while getting a new bag, or new shoes, or new clothes can be extremely gratifying, the pleasure is fleeting at best. and then, you need more.
some argue that maturity means settling down and starting a family, and therefore, as fianancial stability is a requisite for a family, then accordingly, maturity means taking a predominantly financial outlook in our context.
i disgree on 2 counts.
firstly, there is an inherent fault in such thinking because there is an irreparable relationship between money and family. while i agree that one has to work to support a family, i too believe that one cannot focus on the money and enjoy family life. there is an irreconcilable difference in the 2. something's got to give, and for the most of us, it's a choice that we have to make.
secondly, perhaps more controversially, i submit that there is more, much much more to live then to settle down and form a family. ther is such much in life to offer, so many mountains to seek out and conquer, so many books to read, so many places to go, so many things to attempt that it seems to me that children are very much a liability. to me, life can be what you choose it to be, so why pick the option of the arduous and mundane? to work from 9 to 5, or in our case, 11 to 9, have 2 children, go overseas once a year, return home to supervise the children in their homework, to be so - ordinary, so monotonous.
surely maturity can't mean learning to enjoy the dull?